GOD AND GUST………………6 . WHEN SOLI MET PSY.

At 6am Sohrab or Soli, as his parents called him , was feeding bird seeds to the birds outside his building. It was his daily routine and he loved to watch them come and eat and drink water from the plastic bowl he had thoughtfully placed in a corner. On Jeroo’s advice, his mother, he had placed a stone in the bowl so it would not topple over if a bird sat on it’s edge to quench it’s thirst. Then he saw “ Freddie” the frog , he had christened, come hopping towards him and they would just stare at each other for a while  as if they understood each other’s purpose in life. And then go their separate ways. Soli always wondered what Freddie ate to stay alive, and was amazed to see the agility with which Freddie caught an insect while seemingly sitting motionless as a serene monk.

As dawn was breaking over the skies, Soli saw a flash of bright light from where the sun was rising. He was sure God was visiting.

Sure enough, God appeared next to him and asked “ Hey Soli, feeding the birds? How have you been my son”. “ I’ m doing good Sir , and you?” replied Soli.

Jeroo and Gustad had seen the flash of brilliance in the sky too, and were thrilled to see God and Soli exchange greetings. They waved out from their window and Jeroo and Gustad bowed their heads in reverence as they both wished Him.

“ You have been studying hard for your exams all these days now what would you like to do for your vacation ? “ asked God.

 “ Meet up with PSY “ responded Soli instantly and matter-of –factly.

“ That South Korean rapper, singer, songwriter, dancer and record producer ? Why him?”

“ Lord I’m a great fan of his, Gangnam Style and now Gentleman are as good as burnt into my mind body and soul. He is my icon” , replied Soli enthusiastically.

“Gangnam Style” has been the most viewed video online and also the most “ liked”. It is also the first video to be viewed more than a billion times on You Tube, and his latest “ Gentlemen” has the record of being the most viewed video online in 24 hours.” Soli continued breathlessly. “ Please let me meet him once in this lifetime.”

“OK , HOLD MY HAND”, said He and they were standing outside a huge house in South Korea. “ Go inside, he is expecting you!”

Soli stood there frozen in awe and abject delight at the prospect of his meeting Psy in person. As he rang the door bell , two little girls opened the door and smiled at him.” Dad is waiting for you in the hall, we are his twin daughters” they told Soli as they escorted him into a huge hall.

“Hi my name is Park Jae Sang, but that has transformed to Psy, now.” As he thrust his hand out to shake Soli’s hand. You just met my twin girls, and now meet my wife of 7 years, Yoo Hye-yeon, a cello major at Yonsei University and my girlfriend of three and a half years, we were introduced by a mutual acquaintance , sometime in 2002. We’ve been expecting you, please be comfortable, Sohrab”. Soli shook hands with Psy’s wife and thought he was living out a dream, no less.” THE” PSY had just introduced him so casually to his family as if he was his classmate. It was the greatest OMG !  moment for him.

“ Please relax Soli, I am honored you dropped by”, said Psy with a slight bow of his head.” Yoo rushed to the kitchen to prepare some KIMCHI ( which is almost a staple in South Korean homes, consisting of fermented vegetables, usually nappa cabbage, Korean radish or cucumbers, fermented in a brine of ginger, garlic, scallions and chilli pepper), for their guest. Soli was way above cloud 9 and never wanted to return.

 “ I’ve had my share of bust ups in my life , in 2001” Psy revealed he was arrested for possession of marijuana and could not be present for his grandfather’s funeral "I was very close to him. I was not there at the funeral: I will regret this (being arrested) for the rest of my life, because my grandpa loved me so much, and I couldn't be there for him on his deathbed."

“I will always consider Gangnam Style to be the greatest achievement of my life. My stage name Psy is simply derived from the word Psycho,  what I thought was, you know, crazy about music, dancing, performance, so that kind of psycho.”

“You are a good dancer Soli so today you’ll be joining me for my performance at the Wembley Stadium.”

Soli was touching the outer reaches of outerspace by now. He went through the meal with the Psy family in a trance like state. Psy continued talking to him but Soli could only hear the two songs sung by his icon through the haze.

As they reached the stage the crowd went W.I.L.D!!!. The audience was in raptures and the only sound that could be heard was “ Psy, Psy,Psy”. As the music started Soli found himself matching Psy’s signature style of riding a horseless horse swinging his right hand above his head holding an imaginary

rein in his left hand , as they sailed through the two mega hit songs. The thunder of the applause was deafening as there were demands for an encore. Psy held up Soli’s hand and shouted over the mike. “MY FAN FROM INDIA, Sohrab Gustad !!!” and gave him a bear hug. The crowd continued to cheer.

“ Thank You God , Thank You God, Thank You God” Soli rambled as tears of joy rolled down his eyes.

Both knew it was time to part ways .

As Sohrab entered his house he saw their nosy neighborhood aunt Amy parked on the only chair in their room talking and gossiping about every other living thing she had met that day, with his folks.

Still delirious after his amazing tryst with his idol , Soli wished her and continued to freshen up. 

“ Today is someone’s wedding across the road and they are playing Gangnam style since morning there” offered aunt Amy. “ I just can’t stand that stupid dance . It seems his horse disappears from between his legs while he was riding it and, have you seen  this fellow Psy’s  funny pants. They are joined at the knees, just imagine……… I’m sure aine Hydrocele che!!! “

The reluctant writer.

GOD and GUSTAD………………………………5. AAPRI JEROO, THAI GAI SAROO !!!.... < Jeroo gets ( kick) started >.

Gustad had decided to remain a mute spectator to the ongoing conversation between Jeroo, his wife and God. Buster, his pet dog lay on the floor next to the bed he was sitting on, enjoying the belly tickle that was being meted out to him almost absent- mindedly by Gustad.

“ No , Jeroo, I will not have you kicking real butt anymore” said God in reply to Jeroo’s request.” You are a very gentle soul and violence of any sort would be most unbecoming an attribute for me to endow you with…”

“ But God, these rapists need to be taught a lesson, I agree with your contention that they have all been arrested and the law will take its own course. I want to put the fear of instant retribution into the minds of any future criminals. That’s all I am asking ! “ pleaded Jeroo.

Just then Soli, their son walked in from his tuition classes and said “ Oh hello Sir, welcome home, and thanks for everything. How have you been ? “

“ I’m doing good, Soli, thank you for asking” God replied.

“ Sir , since you’re here can you show us mom’s and Buster’s flight sequence? Dad and me are really keen to see it , and Buster boy too………….” requested Soli.

“ Watch “ said God as he raised his hand…………………the wall in front of Him lit up and they all saw Jeroo’s and Buster’s flight with HIM.

“ Wow mom you’re the Flying Ranee!” said Soli excitedly “and how did you manage to throw those guys ? , whenever you want to dry a bucket full of washed clothes, you insist dad or me pick it up for you !”

“ That was HIS grace” replied Jeroo solemnly.

“ That won’t buy you any brownie points” said the Almighty, laconically.

“ But God, I want to stop such abhorrent crimes against women PERMANENTLY…….WHAT’S WRONG with that ?” Jeroo continued, emphatically .” If I need to kick some butt for that……………..PLEASE LET ME !!!. I promise I will kick it inside out so whether the law takes it’s own course..or NOT ( which  happens , most of the times, in crimes against women )……….will not matter anymore. And I can vouch for the entire female population on this earth, that’s what they ALL would want done. So why don’t you agree with me Sir ? “

 “ That’s exactly my concern Jeroo…………….”, said the Lord.

Buster turned over to have a better look at the projection of the flight sequence. He sat on his hind legs now and cocked his head to the left ,and let out a muffled bark. Then turning his head towards Soli, seemed to say “ you saw that ? mom and me FLYING with God !”

Gustad sat in silence, while Soli and Jeroo spoke animatedly with the Lord. Buster was excitedly shifting his position continuously, to have a grandstand view of the happenings of his recent adventure.

Jeroo continued persuasively to convince God for powers to mete out street justice.

The debate was raging now. Jeroo was explaining that the mindset of a rapist cannot be changed overnight. But putting the fear of instant punishment in the hearts of prospective rapists was the ONLY way to dissuade them.

“ All right , for a moment let me agree with your contention, Jeroo…………….now how would you wish to go about executing this? “asked The Almighty.

“Thanks my Lord- this is what I propose .……………….once I am aware of an occurrence, I reach the scene before the crime is about to be committed, then I knock the daylights out of the prospective perpetrators. The media will highlight this in every possible way. More and more people become aware of the consequences of committing a crime against women, or for that matter any crime. Let them assume there is a DIVINE PROTECTOR , unseen and silent , meting out instant justice….once word spreads crimes will reduce drastically” reasoned Jeroo.

God took a deep breath and continued “ let me tell you about the law of KARMA today. To understand this law easily, let me add……….you are a living human being today. When your this life time gets over , only your physical body turns to dust……..your ATMAN or SOUL does not die. IT will simply enter into another body when the time comes………..maybe as another human being or animal or bird or even a plant. This birth or passage is decided by your ACTIONS over your lifetime(s), not only the current one , but also the past lives you have lived in any form. How you conducted yourself through this unending chain of lifetimes decides what you become next. Are we on the same page ?” asked God to a completely rapt Gustad family.

“ Yes Sir, we follow the gist, please continue “, replied Soli who was sitting at God’s feet almost in a trance like state , as were his parents and Buster.

“ Good, now let’s scratch the surface and go down deeper. Your good deeds or … bad transcend across all your lifetimes to give you happiness, hurt, guilt, shame , love , money, success every time you are reborn. And this , as I mentioned already, is an endless chain. Your soul has been created for INFINITY, not for chasing happiness and money during a given birth.

“ You continue to face ups and downs in EACH and EVERY birth. I agree, the intensity of happiness, satisfaction or disappointment will vary, according to your KARMA. NOBODY can circumvent this law. To balance out and eventually bring your soul to the Rate of Perfection I have designed this universe for.

“ Let me tell you the story of Lord Shiva; He was told one day that he would not be able to escape from the wrath of Lord Shani, the son of the Sun God. Shiva having been endowed by Lord Brahma ( the creator) with invincible attributes, simply scoffed at this suggestion. His daily routine was the TANDAV dance, sitting next to his wife Parvati Devi on mount Kailash, playing with his son Ganesha and answering questions from eager and respectful lesser Gods.

“ One day he learnt that Lord Shani was coming for him to make him (Shiva) do his penance for a period of EXACTLY 2 DAYS as had been ordained. To cock a snook at this eventuality Lord Shiva decided to hide inside his pet bull, Nandi, for the duration, so Lord Shani could not find him. As soon as the 2 days got over, Lord Shiva reappeared as his original avatar and started to do the Tandav dance. The Himalaya mountains revebrated to the thunder of Lord Shivas’ dance and He happily told Parvati , his loving wife that he had out-witted Shani Maharaj from undergoing his penance.”

 Parvati nodded her head in disbelief and said……” sorry Shiva you are sadly mistaken, by HIDING inside Nandi, the bull, you unwittingly HAD TO DO YOUR PENANCE, for exactly the 2 days that had been earmarked for it !!!”

“ So the point I am making is that you need to understand, each and every man, woman or creature that has ever lived, even  “mythically”, will have to PAY THE PRICE OF HIS/HER KARMA. When I sat down to create life, I had incorporated this fool-proof system into the universe. Do you still feel so aggressive , dear Jeroo ?”

There was a long pause as everyone in the room mulled over God’s sermon and contemplated what to say next.

Gustad was the first to break the silence and said “ Sir, as you pointed out even some one of the stature of Lord Shiva erred in his thinking about being above reproach. The criminals Jeroo is talking about are maniacs who can stoop to the lowest levels of depravity, within their current life-time, why would you want to punish them at some point of time in their future OR when they are reborn in their 2^nd, 3^rd, or 4^th birth? What Jeroo says is also correct. Putting the fear of God in the hearts of these elements is primary.”

“ You have a point there, but then what about the LAWS OF NATURE I have in place to tackle evil?” questioned God.

JUST THEN A PROJECTION ON THE WALL CAME ALIVE…………they all stared at it in disbelief. A car was racing on a street in Delhi with four drunken goons who had abducted a helpless girl. Two of them sat on the backseat with their hands around her neck holding a knife, while the two in front were leering at her hungrily as they raced through the streets of Friend’s Colony. Jeroo stood up and invoked God to let her go just once and pleaded, “ YOU can’t let this happen before your eyes my Lord !”

Gustad and Soli were watching the projection in horror and Buster had starting barking at the wall screen agitatedly. “ Please God if you love us as a family, let mom go” said Soli.

And the Lord said resignedly………………………. “ GO JEROO GO ! “

Jeroo was on top of the car. Her family and God watched the going ons on the wall screen. She tore open the roof of the car like a  can of sardines. Lifting the terrified girl in her arms Jeroo flew her down to the nearest hospital. Jeroo was visible to the girl who had seen her before passing out. The goons were a mortified lot now. Jeroo lifted the two from the backseat with a violent jerk and threw them out on the street. The two drunks in front were blabbering incoherently as they saw their friends getting airborne like flies.  The car swerved uncontrollably and crashed into the road divider and over turned .

Gustad, Soli and Buster let out their breath only once they saw Jeroo back in the room. She bowed at His feet and cried “ Thank You my Lord Thank you!!!”.

 He put his hands on her shoulders , raised her chin with his right hand and said in his most soothing voice …………“ Ever heard of a crying super hero?”

Jeroo gained her composure instantly.

God said “ Just remember Jeroo……WITH GREAT POWERS COMES GREATER RESPONSIBILITY “

“SPIDERMAN !”, said Soli excitedly…………….

“ NO THAT’s CHANGED TO K.A.J. ( KICK ASS JEROO )” as HE vanished into thin air.

The reluctant writer.