To heaven and back………………………….G & G ( 4 )

THERE WAS A BLAZE OF BRILLIANT LIGHT INSIDE GUSTAD’s TAXI AS HE WAS ABOUT TO OPEN THE DOOR…………………AND THERE HE SAT SMILING.

“ COME ON, LET’S MOVE. I JUST DROPPED BY TO SAY HI”.

“ HELLO GOD, THANK YOU FOR THE HONOUR, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?” ASKED GUSTAD, AS HE DROVE THE CAB ONTO THE ROAD OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE.

“ ALWAYS GOOD” SAID GOD AND SMILED, “ JEROO , YOUR WIFE HAS A FLOURISHING CATERING BUSINESS NOW, SOLI, YOUR SON IS FINISHING SCHOOL AND WANTS TO DO HIS MBA LATER. BUSTER, THE STRAY SOLI BROUGHT IN HAS BEGUN TO RESEMBLE A HANDSOME LABRADOR, YOU TOO OWN 3 TAXIS ………..HOW DID ALL THIS HAPPEN ?” ASKED GOD IN HIS MOST INNOCENT TONE.

“ GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW! “ SAID GUSTAD , AND BOTH SAID “ LOL!”.

“ I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO HEAVEN………… IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, JUST FOR A TRIP, BUT FIRST WE NEED TO REACH THANE, ASAP ( AS SOON AS POSSIBLE). “

Gustad drove to Thane without questioning. They saw an old lady, probably in her late sixties, wearing an old faded saree, looking exhausted, carrying a cloth bag in her hand. She was asking passersby directions to the “ ghoda aspatal” in Marathi. God instructed Gustad to pull over and speak to her. She told him that she has been walking in the sun for the last two hours to reach the animal hospital, but no one seemed to know exactly where that was, and she also did not have enough money to hire an autorickshaw.

God signaled Gustad to bring her to the cab and drive straight to the SPCA camp office. During the short drive she drank from the bottle of water Gustad gave her and even splashed some on her face generously, as if it was the most natural thing to do while riding in the backseat of a Mumbai cab. Now she was smiling and invoking her co-passenger, God to bless her savior without knowing she was sharing the ride with Him.

God and Gustad exchanged amused glances as they parked in the SPCA camp and Gustad helped the lady out of the taxi , still clutching on to her cloth bag.

A vet and her assistant came up and asked how they could help? The old lady put the cloth bag on the wooden table, smiling from ear to ear, and pulled out two injured roosters. She had found them lying outside her room with flies buzzing over them, and when she saw they were still alive she dropped whatever she was doing , darted out with her cloth bag to carry them,  with the ONLY motive of getting these birds immediate medical attention. And it had taken her more than two hours to achieve her single minded, COMPASSIONATE goal.

The vet and her assistant went to work immediately. Gustad asked them if this was a regular occurrence or rare? He was surprise to hear that “ people actually come from as far off as Kelwe , Khargar,  Badlapur and even Ambernath, carrying injured or ailing birds , stray dogs, abandoned and dying donkeys, horses, even cattle for treatment. Sometimes the saviors are as young as 8 to 10 year old children…………sometimes they are as old as your mother”. Gustad decided to let that pass, if his mother was alive she would have been this age anyways.

 Gustad shook his head in disbelief, but at the same time his heart filled with pride to have been a part of such a compassionate and selfless act.

They decided to drop the lady home and all along the way she continued invoking her co-passenger, to bless the living daylights out  of ALL people who are kind to the entire FLORA AND FAUNA on earth, and her savior in particular.

By now Gustad couldn’t resist sharing with her, “ Aai, Bhagwan itej aahe! “  (mother, God is right here with us) in Marathi, as he winked at God hoping He would show Himself.

She replied simply, “ I’ve known that since the time you picked me up!”  

Gustad had a jaw drop moment when he heard that, but he regained his composure quickly. After they dropped the lady to her doorstep God asked, “ Does that answer your question, buddy ?”

“ Yes Sir, she knew and You knew, I didn’t. Where shall we go from here my lord?” uttered Gustad a bit shaken .

“ Let’s go back” were the simple instructions.

 “ Thank you God, no more Sali marghi for me going forward, I promise” said Gustad very seriously, just like an admonished school boy ,as he drove back towards town.

God sighed and turned in his seat fixing  Gustad in his direct line of vision  and continued in a deadpan tone-“ and what about papeta ma gosh, dhan sakh, gosh na kari chawal, Jeroo’s classic keri kanda ma gosh, and the wazwan Kashmiri food you went with Roxanne for, on the 3^rd of April to the Taj Land’s End where you had your fill of Kashmiri shorba, Kashmiri seekh kebabs, murg dhaniwala korma, Gaard curry, a boneless fish ( Kashmiri river trout)???”

Gustad stopped his cab to collect his jaw from his lap, and meeting God’s gaze said “You know EVERYTHING !!! even my Kashmiri food outing with Roxanne and my family ; if You wish I’ll just quit EATING food my lord.”

“ That’s not WHY I am saying this”, HE thundered – “ What you wish to eat is a matter of CHOICE, when I created the Neanderthal man, I also gave him animals that he could eat to stay alive, and the brains to invent fire to cook. right? Today you guys have evolved into ‘homo-sapiens’, you have discovered 10,000 ways of starting a fire - which reminds me, only 5 are used for cooking by you guys - the remaining 9,995 ways are used by humans for arson, killing each other, gun fire, shell fire, rocket fire, bomb blasts and what not , I had created one more type in ALL your hearts- THE FIRE OF COMPASSION !!! WHY DO ONLY A HANDFULL  OF YOU REMEMBER THIS???”

“ALSO IN India- everyone seems to be working only on the principal of the rocket……NOTHING GETS DONE UNTIL YOUR ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!…..WHY GUSTAD WHY?”

God was at his accusatory best today and was really enjoying himself.

By now Gustad was debating whether to laugh or cry or just open the cab door and run, then realizing his thoughts had been read already, stayed put and God continued ----

“Humans have invented 10 trillion recipes worldwide for cooking all types of cuisines. ………….the choice is YOUR’s , to turn Vegeterian, Vegan or continue with your mutton dhansakh and catchuber !!!” ended God in his sermon to a now completely perplexed cabbie called Gustad.

ANYONE WHO CAN DEMONSTRATE SUCH COMPASSION AS THE OLD LADY FOR A PAIR OF DYING ROOSTERS , HAS THE POWER TO SUMMON GOD TO EARTH FOR ASSISTANCE …………AND HE CAME !…………didn’t He ?

“ When do we leave for heaven my Lord?” asked Gustad , and God said…………….          

“ WHERE DO YOU THINK WE HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST FEW HOURS ?!?!”

The factual  part of this writeup is the Maharashtrian lady who saved the roosters. Her name is Mrs. Lalitprabha Khapde. Mrs. Khapde has been visiting SPCA at Thane often, with various species of  ailing birds and animals as vouched by their President  Mrs.Majumdar herself. Mrs. Khapde, was felicitated for this by SPCA on the 3^rd of April 2013.

 …also Roxanne is real, another name for her is, The Tiny Taster……and she too was actually @ The Taj Land’s End for the Kashmiri Food Festival on the 3^rd of April 2013…….coincidence?

….the rest of the story is ALSO true……………………………………...IF YOU BELIEVE.

The reluctant writer.

GOD AND GUSTAD……………PART 3. HELL HATH NO FURY , LIKE APRI KICKASS JEROO.

HELL HATH NO FURY , LIKE APRI KICKASS JEROO.

Jeroo , Gustad and Soli at home on a Sunday morning sitting on a coir durrie ( mat) laid out on the floor, just finishing their breakfast of akoori, jam, bun maska and chai.

Bright FLASH OF LIGHT…… enter God.

“ Hello God/Sir” chorused the Gustad family and invited Him to join them on the durrie for breakfast. Jeroo adjusted the ‘mathubanoo’ (head scarf worn by parsi ladies) when they pray or visit the fire temples, or even at home as a custom.

“ Oh please continue, don’t mind me “ said God, as he settled down on the lone chair in the room and took a deep breath and looked fondly at the family.

As Gustad rose to wash his hands followed by Jeroo and then Soli , God said- “ I had to speak with Jeroo so I dropped by.”

“ An honour for us sahib,“ said Gustad, as he put on his taxi driver’s uniform shirt and adjusted his driver’s badge. “ I start my day at work in 10 minutes”.

“ Yes, and Soli will be out in the next 5 minutes to play for his school team football match, right Soli?” said God.

 “ You are right Sir, and thank you for making me score the winning goal, I know you watch all my matches, as well as everything else we do”, replied Soli, with a confidence far beyond his years.

“When someone thanks me for something even before the event occurs, besides being highly assumptive, I am OBLIGED to deliver”. God thought out loud………

Gustad gave his wife a  hug, kissed her gently on her cheek and left for work saying, “ Thanks always for everything, Almighty”…

“ You’re always welcome “ replied God as he waived father and son goodbye.

 “And now for the reason I’m here Jeroo………..I want you to FLY!!!”

Jeroo thought she hadn’t heard Him correctly, so she asked “ did you just say FLY? I mean as in the air, like a bird?”, stuttered Jeroo and sat down quickly on her bed fearing she was going to faint.

“ Or a plane”, God completed the sentence for her.

“ Yes my dear , that’s exactly what I want you to do.” God explained gently to her “ You are aware there is a sharp rise in crimes against women all across the country and particularly in Mumbai. I want to empower you with certain capabilities to defend the helpless and womenfolk in this city.”

Jeroo smiled nervously at the suggestion.” May I drink some water please?”she asked .

 “ Sure, as much as you wish. Are you up to the challenge? Am I asking too much of you? I trust you completely, you are honest and upright to your core, I couldn’t ask for a more worthy person than you. Of course it is entirely MY responsibility to see no harm comes your way, Jeroo. Trust me.”- said God as he continued to persuade her gently but firmly.

Jeroo sat silently as the import of His words sunk in. “ Will I be visible to others when I do this work, my lord?”

“ Not if you wish so, why do you ask?”

“ No, it just popped up in my mind- actually all the comics I’ve read show crime busters always have an alter ego to protect their identities, I would prefer to just not be visible. You will do that for me ?”asked Jeroo looking at Him with wide-eyed expectation and complete sincerity; God smiled at her logic, she was warming up to the idea after all.

“ Whatever you wish my child, shall we start now?”

“ But I’ve never flown in my life before, not even on a plane, to be honest I have not been higher than the 4^th floor of any building, I’m scared actually”.

“You think I wouldn’t know all that ? Come Jeroo let’s do a dry run, a practice session, so you can fight your fears. Lets take Buster with us too.” (Buster was the little pup Soli had brought home from the street when he had found him crying in pain with an injured left paw).Buster cuddled up in God’s left hand as if on cue, and He extended his right hand to Jeroo.

Jeroo tightened her scarf, and gave her hand in God’s care as they rose above the floor of the room gently - “Remember Jeroo, you shall not be hurt- come what may, you will not fall now even when you leave my hand, if you decide to, midair. As you wish , no one can see you , or me, or even Buster , so just take a deep breath and let’s go” He said reassuringly. Jeroo asked for a few seconds as she mentally went through the Ashem Vohu Yathahu vairyo, the first prayer of any Parsi Zoroastrian and she was ready. ” OK, LET’s DO IT !”

As they rose above her building at Mumbai Central , Jeroo felt strangely calm, all her fears were gone . They glided gently towards Dadar , just as they hovered over Parel she saw a man beating a stray mercilessly while she was nursing her 5 puppies, with  a stick . The poor creature let out a loud yelp of pain as her litter scampered to save their lives. As the man raised his stick to come down again on the puppies , Jeroo jerked her hand away from God’s, almost as a reflex action and grabbing this guy  by his shirt collar from behind flung him 3 stories high up on to the tiled roof of the nearest building as if he were weightless. The man was terrified at the sudden attack, he could not see who threw him so high in the air. Before he could gather his wits Jeroo was on his back , pulling his head back and banging his face into the red roof tiles, again and again and again. Even God winced at Jeroo’s violent reaction…….This was one man who would never try to harm another animal, bird or insect.  

Jeroo was trembling with RAGE, “ how DARE he !?!”

“ He won’t!..... EVER again” , assured God soothingly to calm her down, as they glided towards Juhu.

 Jeroo was still facing the after effects of her violent reaction and was mainly silent through the journey. God allowed her to cool down at her own pace.

The sea and beach looked beautiful from the height that they were flying at. It had a soothing effect on Jeroo’s tangled nerves. Buster had his front paws wrapped firmly around God’s hand and was enjoying his first flight thoroughly, ears flapping in the wind with his tongue sticking out.

Just then they noticed a horse drawn cart with 10-12 people seated in it while the owner was whipping the horse mercilessly, to make it run faster. The horse started bleeding at the armpit as the reins were cutting into his flesh. The whipping opened another flesh wound on it’s back. Jeroo swooped down, lifted the owner above the carriage and swung him in no particular direction. His horizontal trajectory ended with a resounding crash straight into a sign which read “ SHARMA BHELPURI HOUSE”. Jeroo stopped the cart and hugged the terrified horse with tears streaming down her cheeks. All the passengers jumped out of the carriage and ran for their lives. Some were screaming “ Bhoot, Bhoot” or “ ghost, ghost”, as was the owner of the cart and of the Bhelpuri stall. Wanting to help the injured and bleeding animal Jeroo gave a helpless look to God, asking for His help. God snapped his fingers and the horse found itself at the Parel Animal Shelter, with a vet attending to his wounds.

“ Well done Jeroo! I know I made the right choice,” said God as he complimented his latest aide. “I am proud of you.” Jeroo blushed,  and adjusting her headscarf self consciously said, “ shall we go home now? I’ve yet to cook food for us.” She had finally regained her composure and equanimity.

God snapped his fingers and they found themselves back home.

“Since you are such a gentle soul Jeroo I am going to make it easier for you to control crime…you won’t have to be violent at all, just your presence will have the necessary effect to stop a crime. I will explain this later, just go about what you’re doing now and RELAX”.

Patting Buster on the head for one last time…. He disappeared into thin air.

Jeroo was lying on the bed , going through the events of the day with varying emotions , as she pondered over her actions. She was also wondering what else the Almighty had in store for her.

When Gustad returned from work in the evening, all three sat down for dinner.

“ How was your time with God , Jeroo?” asked Gustad taking his first morsel of dinner.

“ I KICKED SOME REAL BUTT TODAY ”, said Jeroo with a distant look in her eyes.

Father and son stared at each other then looking heavenward Soli said softly -

“ Forgive mom, my Lord, for she knows not what she sayeth !!!.”

“SHE SPEAKS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH SOLI…..ASK BUSTER, HE WAS THERE TOO!!!”……BOOMED A VOICE IN THE ROOM.

The reluctant writer

fwriterr@gmail.com