Consider yourself truly blessed and fortunate if The Almighty has chosen you to care for an elder and aged person. As a matter of fact if you happen to look closer, surely there is an elder or aged person who needs caring in your own building or colony.
In order to make life easier for both you and the aged, banish the thought of trying to CHANGE them-habits or activity-wise. You be ready to ADAPT yourself. Remind yourself you have a child to deal with....running nose,wet diapers,food falling out of the mouth,et all. You may also need eyes at the back of your head.
With aging comes various physical challenges.Some of these require assistance to overcome. At times we feel annoyed at the repetitive nature of our elderly. So WHAT?. Why do we assume we are never going to face the same dilemma later on in our own lives?. Being empathetic can seriously help us develop the right attitude towards our elders.Draw on your prayers and ask for this quality.It is easily the single most important attribute besides love.
We need to make a correction of ATTITUDE towards the aged,old or differently abled who cross our paths in our lifetime. Think of care giving as a blessing. Think of care giving as your duty. Think of care giving as your perogative. Usually we get drawn into care giving only for a few years of our life.Rarely does it occur for an entire lifetime. Realising this fact can mellow down the worst of critics of care giving for the elders.
My mother was the only daughter amongst 5 siblings. She was the favourite of my grandmother, who spent her last ten years of her life with us. My mother passed away three years before her mother due to a losing battle with cancer of the colon. Our immediate concern was for "mam-ma's" reaction, as we called granny affectionately. She would not be able to take the loss of her favourite child we feared. Just then Dadar Mazda played his card.Mamma developed partial or selective amnesia. She started calling my wife by my mother's name. She had no past or current memory of her daughter AT ALL. We all were left completely gobsmacked. HIS miraculous powers strenghtened our resolve to continue caring for mamma with renewed energy. She was like a little happy-go-lucky child. She loved her "pe pe"as she called sweets after every meal. She ate icecream gleefully till it dripped down her cheeks,hands and onto her gown.(she had lost partial ability of hand eye coordination),but SO WHAT? I shared another karmic connection with mamma which was uncanny. The moment i'd step into the washroom she would knock on the door without fail. She would repeat an activity that had just been completed. Like having a cup of tea,or changing her gown,or even inviting the postman into the house for a cup of tea. Once she opened the cupboard and paid Rs.10,000.00 to the butcher when he deliverd half a kilo of mutton my wife had ordered; ofcourse he was familiar with mamma's antics, rang the doorbell to return the money to my wife promptly.
Mamma passed away peacefully in my wifes arms one evening in July.
Who can an elder depend on during the last few years on earth? It is a shame if the answer is anything but yourself. Leaving your elders in the gerariatrics ward of some hospital,or an old age home is the worst form of cruelty you can hand them. Yet many of us are guilty of doing exactly that. TIME is the excuse or rather the lack of it.At times the elderly develop amnesia,incontinence,or repetitive behaviour or some other behavioural inconsistency. Aah! we have our excuse to be rude to them and start showing intolerance. Some of us are guilty of even giving them corporal punishment. Go hang yourselves!
For people who need caregiver services at home, it’s never easy to invite strangers at home. You’re lucky if you get one who does their job from the heart and offer genuine daily living assistance.
ReplyDeleteTheodore Wong
THANKS......YOU GOT A POINT THERE, THEODORE, BUT HERE I HAVE QUESTIONED OUR OWN CAPABILITY TO CARE FOR OUR ELDERS IN THE FAMILY...RW.
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