DISGUSTIPATINGLY YOURS.

DISGUSTIPATINGLY  YOURS.

What you are about to read is ENTIRELY fiction and emanates from my mounting disgust over the Last four months of having to read the same kind of crap – over and over  again – for no fault of mine. It may have a striking resemblance to some persons, still alive, but let me state categorically that – is simply co-incidental and probably accidental. So to those of you whose feathers may be ruffled – you can simply PUFF – OFF , and buy another vulture for your aviary.

This is the fictitious story of three clowns having a passing resemblance to some existing ones.They had strange sounding names – the first one was Dinshum Mehtum, the second Khojestum Mystrum and the third guy was Munchum Camum.  All three were strangely prone to hallucinating , day and night about mysterious birds ( read VULTURES). Being 4am buddies their conversations would sound somewhat  like : “ Hey Dinshum…….. that red bummed vulturum  has not touched the meat we put out for it last week…….I think it is either starving to death…. or has turned vegan due to the NAVRATRA’s”. Dinshum clears his throat and says “ Listen to me Khojestum!! Hope no one is tapping your ‘phone! The NHS guys confirmed this breed of vultures are flesh eaters……….and remember we paid a bomb for this particular specimen, on our special study tour to NINCUMPOOP ISLAND ?... Try giving it a peg or two of whisky, remember those natives on the island would always pour their local hooch for these birds and then run for their lives before at least two of them had their noses bitten off? ….. just do as I say Khojestum and call me back later, I was fast asleep dreaming of having deep fried eyeballs in lung soup with 5 vultures….drool! drool! chomp chomp!!.”

Another meaningful conversation , this one between Munchum Camum and Dinshum Mehtum went as follows…….at precisely 28 minutes past 2 am. “ Hey Dinshum that ugly specimen you asked me to care for, till it is full grown- just took a bite of my bum.” Dinshum retorted happily “Hurrah!!  I knew we were spot- on with this species …it actually LIKES to eat human flesh…Munchum,  our prayers have been finally answered!! Bet it is worth every dollar we spent on NINCUMPOOP ISLAND to buy it.” Munchum cried as he hollered “ you don’t seem to understand . I have 12 stitches on my arse and obviously will not be able to SIT through the meeting we have called to impress the laity of our  Aviary Project …. So close and dear to OUR HEARTS and NEEDS”. ”Stop whining” thundered Dinshum- “ let me think of something,” as he scratched his mole ridden nose with the phone receiver.” OK , I got it…. You can give the first presentation on - ‘ WHY IT IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO BE LAID OUT ON A CONCRETE SLAB, after death, ofcourse, AND ROT AWAY ,  ALONGSIDE OTHER LIKEMINDED CORPSES TILL SOME PART OF YOUR NOW COMPLETELY EXPOSED ANATOMY CATCHES THE FANCY OF SOME VULTURE’. You can remain standing through the speech……then complain of a pain in your arse…sorry stomach, head or whatever and disappear”.

“ Gosh what a great idea sirji !! “ gushed Munchum, “ no wonder you’re the leader of our pack!!! I bet even Nostradamus could not have predicted your propensity to manipulate…..of course he (Nostradamus) had more serious DISASTERS to predict on his plate, or crystal ball. Your LATEST from your bagfull of DIRTY TRICKS is also a masterpiece in true blue blooded CHEATING…..allotting flats to your OWN KITH AND KIN has been your trademark stunt for years, SO WHAT IF A FEW DESERVING PERSONS GET STEAMROLLED IN THE BARGAIN?! . You are TRULY blessed with a VULTURIAN APPETITE FOR FEEDING OFF THE POOR AND DEFENCELESS….That Yazdum Desum is such a spoilsport!!”

On a more serious note: Enough crap has been written on the Aviary Project, than I care to remember. The amont of newsprint that has been wasted by writers, publishers, and readers borders on the vulgar.

Our holy priests are knotted up completely on the subject. For or Against may as well be decided by tossing a coin. What was sacrilege yesterday is totally “acceptable” today.We – the laity are equally confused.Though due credit must be given to some of us who have researched on all the arguments and written in the press their erudite opinions – which COMPLETELY RIPS APART AND DEMOLISHES THE WEAK AND IRRATIONAL DEFENCE OF THE 7 MINIONS SITTING IN A D.N ROAD OFFICE….CLAIMING TO BE SO CALLED EXPERTS ON CREATING VULTURES OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE “EDUCATED” HELP OF THE GOVERNMENT AND OTHER LOCAL BODIES.Why??? are there NO other options??? Does every city, town, village or country where Bawas reside….have a DOKHMA.???

With all our collective education and intellectuality can we not think of donating our bodies to humanity? Organ Donation, Organ Transplant have gained acceptance in more conservative communities than ours. Organ Transplants can be performed even while we are still alive. If after death we can be of ANY use for humanity or science, for that matter- what the hell is WRONG with that?? Find out what else can be done once we are dead. With all our collective intelligence – these are the lines we should be thinking on and debating, if necessary. It has already been said in so many words and proven – VULTURES ARE HISTORY!! EVEN IF OUR RELIGIOUS TENETS DEMAND WE BE FED TO THEM , after death. NO AMOUNT OF SCIENTIFIC OR RELIGIOUS MUMBO- JUMBO CAN CREATE VULTURES OUT OF NOWHERE , to feed our dead. Is this concept SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ? in a concrete jungle like Kemps Corner, MUMBAI? In the year 2012 ??

Why not just move to the NEXT LEVEL? Why must we stand FROZEN IN TIME , like a bunch of docile and brain dead individuals…… and permit a handful ( read precisely 7 ) more INDIVIDUALS to FOIST their ideas on us? Ask them… are they spending their personal family resources ( read Rs.25 CRORES) TO PUSH A PROJECT DOOMED TO FAILURE, EVEN BEFORE IT TAKES OFF? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SIT ON OUR COUCHES  AND PURR IN AGREEMENT….or worse, not at all?

We have a very STRONG , HEALTHY  AND ERUDITE COMMUNITY PRESS.

IT IS TIME TO GET TOGETHER AND CONDEMN THIS HOAX BEING IMPOSED ON US, UNFORTUNATELY ,BY OUR OWN.

JAAGO BAWAJI JAAGO!! VAKHAT BADLAIYE GAYOJ.  NAVO VICHAR KARVOJ PADSE…APRA DHARAM NE KHATER, APRE KHATER .

I END THIS WITH An  ASHEM VOHU …YATHAHU  VAIRYO……HOPE THIS IS THE LAST WORD ON THE SUBJECT. AAMEEN.

                fwriterr@gmail.com

the reluctant writer.