HELL HATH NO FURY , LIKE APRI KICKASS JEROO.
Jeroo , Gustad and Soli at home on a Sunday morning
sitting on a coir durrie ( mat) laid out on the floor, just finishing their
breakfast of akoori, jam, bun maska and chai.
Bright FLASH OF LIGHT…… enter God.
“ Hello God/Sir” chorused
the Gustad family and invited Him to join them on the durrie for breakfast. Jeroo
adjusted the ‘mathubanoo’ (head scarf worn by parsi ladies) when they pray or
visit the fire temples, or even at home as a custom.
“ Oh please continue,
don’t mind me “ said God, as he settled down on the lone chair in the room and
took a deep breath and looked fondly at the family.
As Gustad rose to wash his
hands followed by Jeroo and then Soli , God said- “ I had to speak with Jeroo so
I dropped by.”
“ An honour for us sahib,“
said Gustad, as he put on his taxi driver’s uniform shirt and adjusted his
driver’s badge. “ I start my day at work in 10 minutes”.
“ Yes, and Soli will be
out in the next 5 minutes to play for his school team football match, right Soli?”
said God.
“ You are right Sir, and thank you for making
me score the winning goal, I know you watch all my matches, as well as everything
else we do”, replied Soli, with a confidence far beyond his years.
“When someone thanks me for something even before
the event occurs, besides being highly assumptive, I am OBLIGED to deliver”.
God thought out loud………
Gustad gave his wife a hug, kissed her gently on her cheek and left
for work saying, “ Thanks always for everything, Almighty”…
“ You’re always welcome “
replied God as he waived father and son goodbye.
“And now for the reason I’m here Jeroo………..I want you to FLY!!!”
Jeroo thought she hadn’t
heard Him correctly, so she asked “ did you just say FLY? I mean as in the air,
like a bird?”, stuttered Jeroo and sat down quickly on her bed fearing she was
going to faint.
“ Or a plane”, God
completed the sentence for her.
“ Yes my dear , that’s
exactly what I want you to do.” God explained gently to her “ You are aware
there is a sharp rise in crimes against women all across the country and
particularly in Mumbai. I want to empower you with certain capabilities to
defend the helpless and womenfolk in this city.”
Jeroo smiled nervously at
the suggestion.” May I drink some water please?”she asked .
“ Sure, as much as you wish. Are you up to the
challenge? Am I asking too much of you? I trust you completely, you are honest
and upright to your core, I couldn’t ask for a more worthy person than you. Of
course it is entirely MY responsibility to see no harm comes your way, Jeroo.
Trust me.”- said God as he continued to persuade her gently but firmly.
Jeroo sat silently as the
import of His words sunk in. “ Will I be visible to others when I do this work,
my lord?”
“ Not if you wish so, why
do you ask?”
“ No, it just popped up in
my mind- actually all the comics I’ve read show crime busters always have an
alter ego to protect their identities, I would prefer to just not be visible.
You will do that for me ?”asked Jeroo looking at Him with wide-eyed expectation
and complete sincerity; God smiled at her logic, she was warming up to the idea
after all.
“ Whatever you wish my
child, shall we start now?”
“ But
I’ve never flown in my life before, not even on a plane, to be honest I have
not been higher than the 4th floor of any building, I’m scared
actually”.
“You
think I wouldn’t know all that ? Come Jeroo let’s do a dry run, a practice
session, so you can fight your fears. Lets take Buster with us too.” (Buster
was the little pup Soli had brought home from the street when he had found him
crying in pain with an injured left paw).Buster cuddled up in God’s left hand
as if on cue, and He extended his right hand to Jeroo.
Jeroo
tightened her scarf, and gave her hand in God’s care as they rose above the
floor of the room gently - “Remember Jeroo, you shall not be hurt- come what
may, you will not fall now even when you leave my hand, if you decide to,
midair. As you wish , no one can see you , or me, or even Buster , so just take
a deep breath and let’s go” He said reassuringly. Jeroo asked for a few seconds
as she mentally went through the Ashem Vohu Yathahu vairyo, the first prayer of
any Parsi Zoroastrian and she was ready. ” OK, LET’s DO IT !”
As they rose above her building at Mumbai Central ,
Jeroo felt strangely calm, all her fears were gone . They glided gently towards
Dadar , just as they hovered over Parel she saw a man beating a stray
mercilessly while she was nursing her 5 puppies, with a stick . The poor creature let out a loud
yelp of pain as her litter scampered to save their lives. As the man raised his
stick to come down again on the puppies , Jeroo jerked her hand away from
God’s, almost as a reflex action and grabbing this guy by his shirt collar from behind flung him 3 stories
high up on to the tiled roof of the nearest building as if he were weightless.
The man was terrified at the sudden attack, he could not see who threw him so
high in the air. Before he could gather his wits Jeroo was on his back , pulling
his head back and banging his face into the red roof tiles, again and again and
again. Even God winced at Jeroo’s violent reaction…….This was one man who would
never try to harm another animal, bird or insect.
Jeroo was trembling with RAGE, “ how DARE he !?!”
“ He won’t!..... EVER again” , assured God
soothingly to calm her down, as they glided towards Juhu.
Jeroo was still facing
the after effects of her violent reaction and was mainly silent through the
journey. God allowed her to cool down at her own pace.
The sea and beach looked beautiful from the
height that they were flying at. It had a soothing effect on Jeroo’s tangled
nerves. Buster had his front paws wrapped firmly around God’s hand and was enjoying
his first flight thoroughly, ears flapping in the wind with his tongue sticking
out.
Just then they noticed a horse drawn cart with
10-12 people seated in it while the owner was whipping the horse mercilessly,
to make it run faster. The horse started bleeding at the armpit as the reins
were cutting into his flesh. The whipping opened another flesh wound on it’s
back. Jeroo swooped down, lifted the owner above the carriage and swung him in
no particular direction. His horizontal trajectory ended with a resounding
crash straight into a sign which read “ SHARMA BHELPURI HOUSE”. Jeroo stopped
the cart and hugged the terrified horse with tears streaming down her cheeks. All
the passengers jumped out of the carriage and ran for their lives. Some were
screaming “ Bhoot, Bhoot” or “ ghost, ghost”, as was the owner of the cart and
of the Bhelpuri stall. Wanting to help the injured and bleeding animal Jeroo
gave a helpless look to God, asking for His help. God snapped his fingers and
the horse found itself at the Parel Animal Shelter, with a vet attending to his
wounds.
“ Well done Jeroo! I know I made the right choice,”
said God as he complimented his latest aide. “I am proud of you.” Jeroo blushed,
and adjusting her headscarf self consciously
said, “ shall we go home now? I’ve yet to cook food for us.” She had finally
regained her composure and equanimity.
God snapped his fingers and they found themselves
back home.
“Since you are such a
gentle soul Jeroo I am going to make it easier for you to control crime…you won’t
have to be violent at all, just your presence will have the necessary effect to
stop a crime. I will explain this later, just go about what you’re doing now
and RELAX”.
Patting Buster on the head
for one last time…. He disappeared into thin air.
Jeroo was lying on the bed , going through the
events of the day with varying emotions , as she pondered over her actions. She
was also wondering what else the Almighty had in store for her.
When Gustad returned from work in the evening, all
three sat down for dinner.
“ How was your time with God , Jeroo?” asked Gustad
taking his first morsel of dinner.
“ I KICKED SOME REAL BUTT TODAY ”, said Jeroo
with a distant look in her eyes.
Father and son stared at each other then
looking heavenward Soli said softly -
“
Forgive mom, my Lord, for she knows not what she sayeth !!!.”
“SHE
SPEAKS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH SOLI…..ASK BUSTER, HE WAS THERE TOO!!!”……BOOMED A
VOICE IN THE ROOM.
The reluctant writer
fwriterr@gmail.com
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