God smiled as he watched his Ace
Angel, Behram Yazad ready himself for another trip to planet earth… “ You’re
going to have a blast this time, aren’t you Behram?”. “ Depends on what you
call a blast, these fellows in Mumbai just don’t seem to take the hint. Last
time I had warned them about inviting your ire , they’re back to their old
tricks again.” Said Behram, as he clicked his bag of tools shut after
inspecting them for the last time. “ All in good time dear Behram, I give everyone
a long rope. That is in the interest of being fair. I don’t like punishing
people so I give them time to realize their choices and amend. Only when they
keep repeating the same mistakes I dole out justice. Just remember to tell ‘Pappo’ what we decided.”
“ Don’t I know that my Lord, that is
the bottom line of this visit ?” said Behram as he picked up his tool bag and headed to Gustad’s
waiting cab.
“ Hi Gustad I’m back with you, let’s
drive to the office”. On the way Gustad asked Behram, “ what is HYLOPATHISM ? I
came across this fascinating word somewhere; I had never heard or read about it
anywhere before, can you explain it to me please?”
Behram thought for a while then said
” Hylopathism, in philosophy- is
the belief that some or all matter is sentient or that properties of matter in
general give rise to subjective experience. It is opposed to the assertion that
consciousness results exclusively from properties of specific types of matter,
e.g. brain tissue.” Then smiled , “ Bet it hasn’t sunk in. I was giving you the literal meaning. Actually this
belief implies that everything created on earth HAS a life, is sentient. Your shadow,
your aura, these fine grains of dust on your cars’ bonnet, ALL have a life
cycle till such time as they are destroyed.”
“ This time we will be invisible for
a while as we observe the office bearers.” There was really no need to as they
were freaking out in the conference room, with a huge DO NOT DISTURB sign
outside to discourage any sort of interruption to their revelry. Two of the
ladies were gyrating to the strains of ‘Budttameez Dil’ and then ‘Chikni
Chameli’ while their male counterparts clapped gleefully and thumped on the
conference table. The fat guy was the only one “working.” ‘Passed and approved’
he signed the papers, on one he wrote break down the buildings in XYZ baug and build
towers. Then with a smile that split his freckled face into two uneven halves
looked at it fondly. “ At last, my final kiss of joy before I retire ,and to
hell with the rest .”
Just then Behram Yazad and Gustad
turned visible and they all froze in shock as they recognized the duo. They
scampered to their seats and pretended to be busy listening . The fat man broke
into a sweat. “ Not again Sir, please I’ve been good ever since your last visit.
I have ONLY the communitys’ interest in mind”……….. “That is more than evident
buddy!” said Behram as he ordered all to freeze in their chairs. There were
just six bananas in the fruit basket today. Gustad began to skin one and leaned on the window sill. “The last time
I transmuted your brains I had programmed you to work for the benefit of the
community. To return all your ill-gotten wealth and to stop harassing innocent
people and undo your greed for power and pelf. You are doing everything
contrary to that”, as he pulled out a sharp edged tool from his bag. Fatso
could not move or protest. Behram moved towards him and touched the sword like
tool to his heart. “ Going forward , if there is any wrong doing on your part
you will turn into a pigeon”. Gustad was eating the third banana by now. Yezdi
looked at the banana disappear, but this time Gustad did not offer him any.
After all there were only six of them.
“ This is God’s command”, boomed
Behram’s voice, for the others he took
out another tool that looked like a cell phone. Pointing it at each of them he
pressed a few buttons. “And you guys will transform into cats”. Looking back at
Fatso he said,” you must have heard of setting a cat amongst the pigeons,
change that to 7cats for one pigeon !!!”
As they reached Pappoos’ palatial
house in New Delhi, they found him in the kitchen with his mother…… eating
bananas. Gustad was delighted. “ how did you get past security?” shrieked the
mother as she slammed an emergency button in her necklace. “We didn’t , because
they could’nt see us”, answered Behram Yazad, “Let me make this easier for you
both, the two of us are messengers of God. He sent us to tell you to upturn the
crazy legislation you have sanctioned which permits criminals to continue as
politicians. Are we on the same page?” as four security guards rushed towards
them, carbines ready to fire. Behram just raised his hand distractedly and they
turned into ducks. Pappoo screamed in
delight at the sight. ” Mom , they seem to be illusionists, like the guy on TV…Dynamo…Magic
Impossible………. can you turn them back to my security guys ?” he asked Behram delightedly.
“ Sure , but my friend here loves bananas, can you share some with him?”. As
the guards returned to normal, Pappoo asked them to leave and that his mom and
he were just fine. Gustad got some bananas and started eating them right away.
“ Actually I’ve had serious reservations about this myself. I’ve always felt
this should not have been approved in the first place. It is so contradictory
to the laws of democracy. Most of the time I do not interfere in Government
issues, except for the odd train ride in Mumbai’s local trains, or sipping tea
at some villager’s hut in UP. Actually I love fast cars, and we have this
exclusive track at Noida where my friends and me drive souped up super cars.
Also I love flying kites and playing marbles for atleast 6 – 7 hours a day. Now
tell me where does that leave any time for me to indulge in governmental
responsibilities?” as his mom looked on fondly at her Rajkumar (prince) beta. “
Will you teach Pappoo some magic tricks
after he changes the legislation?” she asked Behram.
“I am not a magician, but let’s wait
till he returns from the press conference… then we’ll see . I am simply a
messenger of God and will convey your wish to Him.” Replied Behram, as Gustad
let out a burp after he had eaten the tenth banana. “excuse me for the burp,
but I had eaten 6 already before coming here, I do not intend to offend, it’s
just that I can’t resist this fruit. My wife makes banana milk shake, banana
korma, banana soup, banana tea, banana par eedu , as we parsee’s love egg with
anything, banana kebabs, banana bhajias ………” Behram and the mommy dearest
looked quizzically at Gustad as he continued praising his wife’s propensity to
whisk up so many dishes from the humble banana.
Just then they saw Pappoo on TV,
barge into a news conference announce as “complete nonsense” the ordinance to
save convicted legislators from disqualification. In a powerful intervention he
sealed the fate of the contentious legislation. “ I will tell you what my
opinion on the ordinance is” He thundered. “It is complete nonsense. It should
be TORN UP AND THROWN AWAY. That is my personal opinion. As I am interested in
what our government is doing. That is why what our government has done as far
as THIS ordinance is concerned is WRONG.”
“Now will you teach him some magic
tricks please?” asked mommy dearest.
“
He has already performed the biggest magic trick in this country’s political
history, ma’am. Even Harry Houdini, the greatest magician the world has EVER
seen, would not have been able to
surpass this. With this master stroke he has changed the direction the country
was headed in. TRUST ME … GOD ABOVE IS SMILING !!!
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