EMOTIONAL THINKING

Most of the time we are all emotional thinkers. All the decisions we make during our normal day are guided by our emotions. Nothing wrong with that – except that we end up paying a higher price for life. It would be a better idea to be an  OBSERVER  of our emotions FIRST and then take decisions.

Being an observer of our emotions puts us in control of our lives. Our decisions in everyday usage , so to say, are more controlled and balanced. Emotions lead to haste in decision making, and that is not always desirable.

Anger, love, lust, envy, hatred and greed are some of the primary emotions  that control our decision making abilities. The best part is……….. WE allow them to do so, and in the bargain cloud our own judgment. Personally speaking- I hate loud noises, come Navratri, Govinda, Ganpati or any occasion where there is loud music or noise I can feel a perceptible change in my own behavior. I begin to snap at people at the slightest provocation. The emotion that guides me in these circumstances is irritation or anger. So my entire behavioral demeanor gets into the same mode as my feelings or emotions. Logic or reasoning goes for a complete toss. When I began observing my anger , I actually felt stupid and could smile at my own folly.

Again , once my son ran up a huge amount on his credit card, I impulsively wanted to just clear the debt for him, ASAP. Love took over rationality. First things first I got him out of the debt. Then it dawned on me that I should have counseled him about the trap credit cards are. This way I left him to do likewise again . Fortunately that has not happened …..so far !!

There is always someone in our lives whom we love to hate .We simply do not like the sight of a person, or their habits, or their behavior, or their reactions to situations. So when we come into contact with them, as at times it is unavoidable; we act in a summary manner. We pre-judge such a person. Our conversation turns sarcastic, or demeaning , at times outright insulting. The net result is a feeling of guilt. Well, we brought it upon ourselves in the first place. Didn’t we? Had we paused to observe our emotion of disgust or ego or controlled our thoughts for just a moment BEFORE this interaction- our behavior would have been entirely different.

Envy is another emotion that creeps into our behavioral pattern very very quietly and can mess us up royally. The neighbours got the latest model of the Ford car. Why not me? All the people in my building have upgraded to Led or Lcd flat screen TVs. Why not me?The neighbouring shopkeeper has completely Airconditioned his shop ….i must do the same at any cost!.....whoa!! We end up with an expense we DID NOT NEED, till a little while ago. Yet we begged , borrowed, or stole to just keep up with the Joneses. In these hard times we just created another EMI to repay. Why? Is the question you should ask yourself. Observe your emotion – if it is just a feeling of envy that controls your buying decision …….just drop it like a hot brick.

Our children trust us implicitly and unconditionally. Some of us are guilty of pushing them into modeling or acting at the first opportunity that presents itself. Presumably the stakes are quite high in these fields. There is a good amount of money to be made. We can save up for the child’s future expenses with this money………….nothing wrong with that, except maybe we are just playing with the emotional development and future of our child. Agreed, not all child stars are “pushed” into acting by the parents but there are instances where a child has completely lost the opportunity of a normal childhood because of the greed factor of their parents.

It is vital to use our minds and emotions in our favor, not against ourselves. Just be an observer NOT a reactor to your emotions. Most people don’t know that it is their EMOTIONS that are doing the thinking.

YOUR EMOTIONS ARE YOUR EMOTIONS ………..BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO DO YOUR OWN THINKING.

the reluctant writer

fwriterr@gmail.com